Suffering the Blues - the aftermath of the wedding day

I spent 8 months planning our wedding day. Those 8 months of excitement, nervous energy and expectation followed 10 years of thinking about the day and dreaming about what it would be like. Then, in a blink of an eye, it was over. And I felt like ‘what now?’. I felt sad that it was over and had a sense of emptiness about what the future could hold for me. That said I am a bit of a drama queen (also bipolar…..) so I thought I was just being full of sh*t and I should just get over myself!

But it seems like I am not the only one (isn’t it nice when there are other sods just like you out there :-) )

It is estimated that 1 in 10 new spouses suffer to some extent from post wedding depression. It can range from a mild sense of sadness to feelings of remorse, loneliness, a sense that life after the wedding is mundane and meaningless and severe depression. These feelings can continue for months or just a week or two.

We spend so much time preparing for our ‘big’ day, that very special day in our lives that we tend to forget that there is life after the wedding day. The fact of the matter is that your wedding day is the day that signifies the start of a new relationship, a new family unit and a new life path together. But we tend to see the day as a marker of the end of an era, end of loneliness, end of singledom, the end of being Miss So-and-So.

If you are not married yet, make sure you allow yourself some time during the wedding planning stages to consider life after the wedding day. Make sure you will have something else to occupy your mind with (writing thank you notes does not count ;-) !!)

If you are not sure whether what you are feeling is post wedding blues, go to http://quiz.ivillage.com/love/tests/postwedding.htm and do the quiz.

If you are suffering from post nuptial depression and need some advise, maybe one of the following sites can give you some more information:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/couples/life_postwedding.shtml

http://newlyweds.about.com/od/afterthewedding/tp/Kick-the-Post-Wedding-Blues.htm

http://www.weddingpath.co.uk/wedding-blues

http://www.weddingguideuk.com/articles/features/postweddingblues.asp

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/248925/what_are_some_signs_of_post_wedding.html

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/81292/post_wedding_depression_transitioning.html?cat=23

And as always, please comment if you have a story to share?

Life after wedding planning

Hi all!!!!

I know, I know.... I am super bad :-( Have not written anything for ages........ Please forgive me; I have been settling into the 'being married' thing and did we start our married life off with a bang................

I am pregnant!!!!!! he he he!!!! Today I am 11 weeks & 2 days (you can do the maths if you want, won't blame you :-) but was def after we got back from honeymoon!!!!!)

So between everything else, this has taken some getting used to. Not that we are not happy, it just happened sooooo quick!!!!!

I will start writing again soonest. I want to do a little research into the 'post-wedding blues' and will do an extensive post on that in the VERY near future!!! In the meantime, why don't you tell me whether you think post wedding blues are real or imagined? Do you know someone who had it bad? SHARE PLEASE!!!!!

[polldaddy poll=1139623]

It's was a beautiful day!!!! Our wedding day...

Our wedding day was the most amazingly beautiful, special, emotional day if our lives. Everything went smooth and I am over the moon and happily in love :-)

We woke up to a gloriously warm sunny day. Our ceremony was outside and the weather was just PERFECT! We stayed in a 150 year old house at our venue (The Cradle) and I got ready there on the stoep.

[caption id="attachment_258" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Jeroen getting ready"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_259" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Jeroen & John in the veld"][/caption]

Jeroen left at about 12 to go get ready with the guys at the log chalets and all the poviders arrived on time!

My mom did my hair, and we had a very relaxed make-up and photo session. Andrea, the most fab photographer in the world, loved the setting and got my inner model to appear!!!!

[caption id="attachment_257" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Juanita, my make-up artist, beginning the transformation!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_264" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="My favourite picture of me!!!"][/caption]

I left for the ceremony at 15:15 (didn't want to be a moment late) but when I got there at 15:28 was told the minister hasn't pitched yet.... one moment of panic then he arrived!!!

[caption id="attachment_249" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="My Daddy walking me to the ceremony"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_247" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Jeroen's first look at his bride"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_250" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Our ceremony in the dust"][/caption]

I walked down the aisle on my hessian runner at 15:32!!! One of the most special moments of the day was having a minute before walking in to just hug my daddy... (some of you know he was diagnosed with cancer last year August and we didn't know whether he will still be with us......).

I walked in to the Feather Theme from Forrest Gump! Was hauntingly beautiful in the setting!!!!!

Our guests were taken down to the ceremony site by open game vehicles and most of them loved the novelty of it. The cermony was under the trees in the dust (I know it sounds horrid but was soooo beautiful!). We had wooden benches set out in semi circles and Jeroen and I got married in the middle with all our guests arround us.

U2's "Beautiful Day" played while we were confettied!!!

We had a cheese 'cake' which we cut directly after the ceremony and it was 1 of the biggest hits of the wedding!!! The guests loved the cheese and wine and 70 people finished almost 6kg of cheese in a hour!!!

[caption id="attachment_266" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Our cheese 'cake'"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_267" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Condiments served with the cheese & wine"][/caption]

We took our photos there in the veld and the guests also loved the fact that they could see the photos being taken. They all said that they didn't feel abandoned as they have felt at previous weddings when the couple goes for their photos (could also be because we fed them cheese and the wine flowed!!! LOL!!).

We made our entrance at the reception to Barry White's "you're my first, my last, my everthing'.

[caption id="attachment_273" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Our entrance at the reception"][/caption]

It was a fun entrance because he talks a bit in the beginning of the song and the song builds up in momentum and everyone was waiting in anticipation for our entrance!

The evening went soooooooooo quickly! Jeroen made a beautiful speech and then I did my speech (and gals, I didn't cry - which is such an achievement for me!!!) and then Jeroen & I toasted our parents together.

They brought out a birthday cake for me and Jeroen got the DJ to play 50cents' "It's your birthday'!!! Had sparklers and candles the works!!!

After dinner the MC got everyone to stand and then asked all the unmarried people to sit. Then those married for less than 5 hours had to sit (I didn't want to!!!), then all those married less than 5 years etc until only one couple remained standing (Jeroens parents) - married for 43 years!!! I then handed my bouquet over to them! Was so special!!!

Our first dance was to The parlotones' "I'll be there" and was THE MOST MAGICAL MOMENT!!! The whole world disappeared and it was just me and Jeroen!! THAT IS WHEN I STARTED CRYING FOR THE 1ST TIME!!!!!

And then we just boogied the rest of the night away :-)

[caption id="attachment_280" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Let's do the time warp again! It's just a jump to the left...."][/caption]

All of the family stayed at The Cradle that night and they gave us a sumptious breakfast the next morning in the bush.

All in all was THE most FANTASTIC day of my WHOLE life!!!!!!

Now providers:

Venue - The Cradle - www.thecradle.co.za
They are expensive (can't bullsh*t you about that!!), but worth every single cent!!! From the magnificent setting, the beautiful restaurant, the SUPERB food, the excellent service, I would recommend them anyday!!!! We had a 4 course plated meal @ R350pp which included, as one of the choices for mains, a perfect prepared 350g fillet!!! We got sms's the day after from guests who raved about that fillet!!!!

Photogarpher - Andrea Carlyle - http://www.andreacarlylephotography.co.za/
I loved her from the moment I saw her website and I just had to have her as our photographer!!! She has a fantastic eye and our pics are just GORGEOUS!!!!!! She is very professional and so chilled!!!! And the guys raved about the 2nd photographer, Belinda (she has flippen beeeeeuuuuaaaitful arms!!!!).

Videographer - Gavin Blok - http://www.wedonvideo.com/
Gavin & Natasja were a very late addition to our supplier list but I am so very grateful we decided to go with them. The day went sooo quickly that we did not take much of the details in so we can't wait for the video!! Gavin is also very professional and he has worked with Andrea before, which meant they didn't get in each other way.

Make-up - Juanita - http://www.in2art.co.za/
She was soooo sweet, on time, professional and a darling on the day!! My make-up looked spectacular (even though I say so myself he he he) and it lasted so well!!!

Music - http://www.creamcheese.co.za/

The DJ, Mark, was fantastic!!! He went out of his way to find the strange songs we wanted and he read the guests sooo well!!! The dancefloor was busy the WHOLE night; can't think of 1 moment when there was not someone boogying away!!!

Wooden benches hire - Price party hire - http://www.partyhire.co.za/
Their driver got lost (luckily on the Friday, not on the day!) but their rates were fantastic!

Officiate - Craig Smee
Although a bit late and rather overbooked, he did a wonderful job and had most of our guests in tears with his beautiful ceremony!

Set-up on the day - Erna www.ernawolmarans.co.za
She was such a blessing! I just could not be in 2 places at the same time!!!

Dress - My aunt Verona!
Was exaclty what I wanted!!! Felt like a fairy in a fairytale!!!

Birthday Cake/Rusks - My mommy!

Cheese - little shop in Randburg - Republic rd

As most of you know, I did most everything else for our wedding myself. It was a lot of work and VERY stressful but worth it in the end!!!

I made the:
save the dates
invites
placecards
table numbers
table number stands
wishtree
napkins
table runners
favours (small packets of filter coffee & rusks)
table seating frame
bathroom baskets (which the guests LOVED!!)
all flowers, including:
centerpiece flowers
bridesmaid bouquet
my bouquet

Here are some photos of the flowers and decor:

[caption id="attachment_283" align="aligncenter" width="216" caption="The organza runners on the tables"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_284" align="aligncenter" width="216" caption="Napkins & placecards"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_285" align="aligncenter" width="216" caption="Our favours: Filter coffee & rusks!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_286" align="aligncenter" width="216" caption="The tables with the most spectacular view in the background"]

[/caption]

The tables

[caption id="attachment_290" align="aligncenter" width="216" caption="Centrepieces"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_289" align="aligncenter" width="216" caption="Centrepieces"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_292" align="aligncenter" width="216" caption="The wishtree"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_291" align="aligncenter" width="216" caption="My bouquet"][/caption]

And that is it!!! I will post some honeymoon pics next week. Until then, any comments will be highly appreciated :-)

ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWN... TA DA DA DA, DA DA DA DA!!!

14 days to go and I can't wait!!!!!

I will see you all back here after the honeymoon!!!!!!

Till then,

Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do me a favor?

I have been thinking long and hard about what to give our guests as wedding favours. I have been to a few weddings where I got a candle with the happy couple's faces pasted on that ended up in a box in my cupboard.

I mean, be honest, are you really going to use a candle in your home with someone else's face on? Or drink from a champagne glass sandblasted with someone else's wedding date? Now don't get upset if this was your idea, whatever floats your boat!!! It is just my personal opinion!!!

Wedding Blogs and More

Through the past year of blogging I have stumbled upon so many wonderful blogs by brides-to-be and other wedding fanatics. I thought I would share some of my favourites here today. Please go have a look-see and be inspired!

Black, White and Yellow Weddings

You don't have to be Maya the Bee to pull off a spectacular black & yellow inspired wedding! Here are some pictures for inspiration!

Cursed wedding dress?

I found this little poem on the web during one of my many searches! I thought it quite funny and wanted to share! What are your thoughts on this? Do you have any superstitions regarding your wedding? Please share!!!

Married in white, you have chosen all right.
Married in green, ashamed to be seen.
Married in red, you will wish yourself dead.
Married in blue, you will always be true.
Married in yellow, ashamed of your fellow.
Married in black, you will wish yourself back.
Married in pink, your spirits will sink.